El Mate Tuerto

"Se fingirá el saber que no se tiene."

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Nombre: El Mate Tuerto
Ubicación: Argentina

19 octubre, 2006

Jazz

No hay nada más aburrido que Weather Report. Era hora, alguien tenía que decirlo. ¿Qué había que decir? Que no nos gusta el jazz. ¡Pará, flaco! ¿Cómo que no NOS gusta el jazz? Okey, me excedí. Solo pretendo destacar que, a ciertas personas con ciertos gustos y apetencias, el jazz no les dice nada. Esto que acabo de decir, es no decir nada. Lo que quiero significar cuando dije lo que dije es: ni a Zedi Cioso ni a Zatoichi ni a mí nos gusta el jazz. Esto de hablar por boca de terceros siempre es arriesgado. Acá, de hecho, me parece arriesgado. Voy a ser un poco más riguroso: ni a Zato ni a mí nos conmueve el jazz. Claro claro: ciertas piezas de ciertos músicos sí nos gustan, y sí nos gustan mucho. En general, nos dormimos. Ahora: no hay nada como Weather Report. Desconozco si alguna vez lo escucharon. Es un grupo de lo que se conoce como ‘fusión’. Específicamente, de jazz-rock, ese género que dio por regla aberraciones intragables. El espécimen mayor de los cuáles, claro, es Weather Report. (¿No empiezan a bostezar con su sola mención? Vieron. Yo les dije.) Insulso como su nombre. El jazz rock no todo está mal. Ver Invisible. El resto del jazz rock perceptible a los ojos, sí, es soporífero. No tanto como (bostezo) Weather Report. Pero, he aquí lo que quería señalar: lo que aburre es el jazz.
Nuevamente, me retracto. Alguna vez Zato sindicó a nuestros gustos ‘fuertes’, aquellos con las propiedades sísmicas de ‘conmover’, bajo dos ejes: (1) el punk épico; (2) el glam juguetón y experimental. Destaco lo de ejes, pues se admiten combinetas. En general, lo mejor de ambos mundos está en las combinetas. Bowie tiene lo mejor de ambos mundos, y ninguna pureza. Bolan es (casi) puro glam juguetón (el ‘casi’ vale por ‘Solid Gold Easy Action’, gema pre punk). Barrett tiene todo de circense y lúdico; poco de épico, poco de glam. Mucho o nada de punk. Ramones y Pearl Jam y Jane’s Addiction son más punk épico que otra cosa (no hay ‘Being Caught Stealing’ que valga). ¿Dónde entra el jazz en este esquema? Respuesta: no entra.
“¿Y no será mejor decir que a ustedes [por nosotros] no los conmueve el jazz, y no que el jazz es inconmovible?” Sí. Eso es lo que quiero decir. Pero esa afirmación es poco bullanguera, mayormente incontrovertible. Y usted, lector, como yo, como todos: usted pide quilombo. Así que olvídese de este párrafo, y continúe creyéndome en pie de guerra. Píenseme como un engendro a pisotear.
Cerraré este pasquín con una anécdota. El protagonista no soy yo, sino Zato. Estábamos, años ha, Xilofón, Zato, Cioso y yo en mi residencia, a punto de iniciar una partida de T.E.G. (No, si nosotros sí sabemos como divertirnos.) En mi afán musicalizador, había trasportado al comedor toda mi colección de cedés y casetes. (Esto ocurrió en la prehistoria. De todas formas, sigo siendo un dinosaurio.) Dije: pongan lo que quieran. Zato despegó de su trono e inició el proceso de selección. Finalmente, blandió con orgullo, y algo de picardía, un casete por los aires. “Escuchen esto”, dijo. Era ‘Olé’, de Coltrane. Iggy Pop solía padecer ataques de epilepsia feliz con los discos de Coltrane. Más modestamente, yo fui testigo de un tsunami interior. Como nunca antes ni nunca después nada del mundo del jazz me alteró o inquietará. Una base obsesiva e incesante, sobre la que emergían y bajo la que se sumergían espásticamente un saxo y un piano bipolares en su ir y venir de la euforia a la depresión. Dieciocho, veinte minutos. Luego la nada. Luego otro tema. Zato puso stop y cambió el disco. La revuelta se desató. Zed y yo protestamos: ¡dejá, está buenísimo! Zato frunció la nariz, torció la boca, dejó caer lo siguiente: “No. El primer tema está bueno. El resto es jazz.”

Matías Pailos

119 Comentarios:

Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

antes que los suplicios a los que nos sometian vos y zato en las inmemoriables partidas de TEG me quedo con el weather report :)

19/10/06 13:55  
Blogger Mundo del Cinismo dijo...

Permítaseme dudar de la posibilidad de plantear un genérico que abarcaría desde el ragtime (no el que todos conocemos de compás en 2/4, que se identifica en Scott Joplin, sino el rag estilísticamente más afín al bluegrass que supo interpretar Lionel Belasco) a los ejercicios sintetizados en que Chick Corea parece más bien Lito Vitale.

Para ser verdaderamente rigurosos, ¿de qué hablamos? ¿De hardbop, de bebop, de swing, de cool? ¿De Nueva Orleans, de Kansas City, de Chicago, de París, de Buenos Aires?

A lo que voy, todo el respeto y aprecio que tengo por si figura intelectual, mi querido Pailos, no alcanzan a la hora de evitar ser un poco duro tal vez, y decirle que primero investigue el tema (hay excelente literatura, como el bello ALL WHAT JAZZ de Phil Larkin) y así evitar los abusos de metodología comparativa.

Digo, imagine que aparezca alguien que diga que la filosofía analítica es la estupidez más grande del planeta porque leyó un texto de Puttman y se basa en luego de haber leído a Wittgenstein por influjo (supongamos) de Bolaño, no hay caso y fue y será una estupidez. Cuando la estupidez, claro, es llevar a cabo una afirmación tan radical de un campo que se conoce tan poco.

19/10/06 14:19  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Tiene usted razón, cínico. Si se desdeña "el" jazz porque no es épico, se desconoce la gesta atemporal de Carles Mingus; si se lo desprecia por su falta de glamour, se está olvidando (o desconociendo) que es justamente tipos como Coltrane que influenciaron a, por ejemplo, Jimi Hendrix y Grateful Dead.
Es decir: el jazz te gusta o no te gusta... sin justificativos ni apelativos innecesarios.
Un abrazo.

19/10/06 14:46  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Lo que dice anónimo está muy bien.
Yo adhiero, sin ningún tipo de justificativo, a la posición de MP: el jazz no me gusta y me aburre. (Y sí: Weather report suena muy aburrido (el nombre, de lo demás no sé))
(Sin embargo, en una fiesta alguien puso un disco de jazz (nunca supe qué era) y me había gustado mucho. Pero estaba bastante borracha, así que no sé. Por ahora, mantengo lo que dije antes)

19/10/06 15:20  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Este blog ha sido eliminado por un administrador de blog.

19/10/06 16:26  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Aclaración de anónimo 1 (el de Mingus): Roberta, no fui yo quien puso el procaz comentario sobre vos. Te pido perdón en nombre de todos los anónimos involuntariamente implicados "en el embrollo que estalló" (frase robada del heavymetalero mas jazzero).

19/10/06 16:32  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Matías: Pienso que el propósito de generar controversia no requiere de una afirmación tan..¿burda?
Estoy seguro que un oído que ha conocido la caricia de la MÚSICA de los grandes maestros clásicos, sabrá apreciar correctamente un género tan singular y a la vez tan amplio como es el Jazz...
Lamentable lo de Roberta, pero muy propio, supongo.

19/10/06 17:52  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Tanta gente defendiendo al jazz... me hace dudar.
MP, ¿considerarías la posibilidad de que estemos equivocados? Yo, por lo menos, la contemplo (sólo porque reconozco no haber escuchado lo suficiente).

Anónimo 1: nunca pensé que usted fuera el mismo que anónimo 2, diferentes estilos, vio.

19/10/06 19:23  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Me olvidé de firmar el comentario anterior. No era mi intención introducir un anónimo 3.

19/10/06 19:25  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

yo me diverti mucho porque me acuerdo de la anecdota... desafortunadamente, me la acuerdo bien y las circunstancias fueron deliberada y literariamente modificadas... aunque falta en la escena un personaje esencial: pedro, quien se sintio, yo diria, ofendido con el desprecio al jazz.
en cuanto al fondo, no me gusta el jazz, me aburre el jazz, y no conocia que tuviera tantas categorias...
mentira, me gusta el bebop, el ragtime y otros que no se ni como se llaman...
weather report me duerme, de eso estoy completamente seguro, y jaco pastorius se puede meter el bajo en el cajon.
agradezco al jazz haber alimentado a la musica europea de entreguerras que devino en cabaret, music hall y por fin en la novicia rebelde... gracias por "my favourite things".

19/10/06 20:36  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

creo que "my favourte things" entra en glam juguetona.

19/10/06 20:40  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Me veo en la obligación moral de denunciar el fraude: muchos nombres, muchos ritmos, muchas clasificaciones, en fin.. Pero en vuestras reuniones -y he compartido algunas junto a ustedes- siempre suena de fondo Diego Torres :-))
Abrazos, Cobiñas

19/10/06 22:25  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Mundo del cinismo: no voy a investigar sobre lo que me aburre, a menos que me vea en la obligación. Por lo demás, suscribo el comentario de Zato, que sí se ocupa de discriminar la confusión que te encargaste de generar. Podría decir que entre gatos no nos vamos a estar pisando la cola. También podría decir que si juego a metepúa, tengo que bancarme a los metepúas que me rodean. Sabés a qué aludo con lo de jazz rock: WR, Pastorius, Pat Metheney, esa cosa.
Roberta: no estamos equivocados. Es una cuestión de gustos. Sí, es verdad, que cerrarnos nos podría impedir disfrutar de cosas qué sí podrían conmovernos. 'Kind of Blue', de Miles, es maravilloso. Y estoy seguro que mucho de Mingus me va a gustar. Y perdón por los improperios ajenos. No sé por qúe se les da por la pendejada de insultar. Bueno, justamente: porque son pendejos. No les des pelota.
Zato: tenés razón en todo. No solo en esto: en todo.
Donatello: lo mío es berreta, qué duda cabe. Pero, qué le voy a hacer: mi oído carece de las papilas auditivas para el jazz. Y también para la música clásica, ya que estamos.
Cobiñas: en nuestras reuniones no suena Torres. Suena cumbia.

19/10/06 23:21  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Zatoichi: No me acuerdo de la anecdota, pero es muy posible que me haya sentido ofendido. Pero todo fue rapidamente olvidado cuando me entregue a mi costado ludico-guerrero y, creo, gane la partida.
Tambien es posible que no sea yo el Pedro en cuestion.
Saludos desde el frio norte.
pedro.

20/10/06 23:36  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Sí, Pedro D.: sos vos.

21/10/06 03:49  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Pailos, no se insulte a sí mismo haciendo afirmaciones generales. Imagínese si alguien dijera "no me gusta la 'música clásica'" (supongamos que con eso quiere referir todo el período desde el barroco hasta el dodecafonismo integral inclusive). "Jazz" es un apodo arbitrario. Hay cosas buenas y malas bajo eso. Supongo que yo le encuentro cosas maravillosas y lo malo lo ignoro, paso el tema, evito al intérprete, etc., etc.

(No me traiga como contraargumento que la cumbia, por decir algo, es algo que claramente no le gusta y no es posible distinguir en ella variedad. En primer lugar, es contingente que nadie haya hecho buena cumbia y, en segundo, confiese si alguna vez no la ha bailado el clamor de una cervezas.)

Vale decir que el jazz suele gustarle más a la gente que toca algún instrumento, pero esta estadística se ve disminuida ya por uno de mis grandes amigos, I -un músico del carajo- quien entre los tres libros que dice tener que escribir antes de morir tiene uno que se titularía "Porqué no me gusta el jazz".

Por último, podrías haber citado a Adorno, quien daría chapa a tu odio por lo que supo ser la mayoría de negritos americanos con instrumento.

21/10/06 04:01  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

ML: no tengo muchas cosas claras. Sí sé que estoy contra Adorno y a favor de Benjamin. Lo tuyo es una chicana, y lo sabés. Por lo demás, tenés razón en todo el resto. Salvo en la cumbia. A mí me gusta la cumbia. Creo que sí hay variedad en la cumbia. Basta con preguntarles a tipos capaces que sí tienen el oído afinado para el tema, tipo Israel Adrián Caetano. Lo único de lo que padece la cumbia es de un Piazolla. Pero a no desesperar: eso le pasa porque todavía está viva.

21/10/06 04:11  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Un detalle: confieso no haber leído los comentarios anteriores hasta luego de escribir y mandar el mío. No tenía idea de que justamente vos, MP, habías dicho que tampoco te gustaba la "música clásica". Digo, si quise chicanear, no fue con eso en particular. Me importa que mis chicanas sean apreciadas en su justa proporción y contexto.

21/10/06 05:41  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

De todas formas, si lo tuyo fue una chicana (lo fue), lo mío se pareció peligrosamente a una apretada. (¿Qué es ese 'lo sabés' del final de mi comentario? Una apretada.)
No soy yo. Es la tónica de este post.
Aprovecho este espacio que me ceden los editores para hacer extensivas mis disculpas a Mr Mundo del Cinismo, a quien también maltrate inexcusablemente.
Enterremos este post de una buena vez.

21/10/06 13:54  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Creo que tengo ganas, a pesar del aburrimiento ajeno, de repetir algo que creo haber escrito aqui por otros motivos.
El fenómeno del género es un hecho innegable, lo cual no implica que sea deseable.
El punto en todo caso que me pregunto (no retóricamente, es una pregunta sincera), es para qué sirve leer, desleer o lo que fuera, partiendo de un género, o hacia un género.
Si el jazz, como el tango, el flamenco, y, saliendo de la jaula, hasta el propio peronismo, albergan bajo su nombre cosas fabulosas y miserables, de qué sirve hablar de la bolsa sin revisar la carga?
Lo poco que escuché de WR me resultó peor que aburrido: me resultó eficaz en su búsqueda de ser parte del pronóstico meteorológico, algo que aspira a ser aire, el aire envenenado de un ascensor en el rulero.
Pero Mingus nada, pero nada, tiene que ver con eso. Una vez una persona me dijo Escuchá esto, y me dio un cd de Salinas. Me aburrí como un hongo, virtuosismo gimnástico. Se lo devolví y le dije, Tomá, escucha esto, y le di Clown, de Mingus, que en mi humilde opinión es una obra que supera el género. Esta persona se aburrió como un hongo. Para mí, Salinas sorprende, ña ña ña, como diría Laiseca, y Mingus conmueve, te cambia el juego todo el tiempo, es música sin género, lo mismo que Paco De Lucía, que puede tocar mejor o peor que Salinas, pero no está ahí el punto.
¿Conversations whit my self de Bill Evans es jazz? Sí, no sé, se supone...¡qué carajo me importa!
En definitiva, MP, me parece que el problema es con música como WP y cosas por el estilo, que son amigas del infierno, entendiendo por éste, la peor parte de la vida cotidiana, y lo que es más grave, la que nos quiere amigar con ese infierno.
Sorcerer es jazz? miles smiles es jazz? no logro comprender, entonces, si el problema es, como decìa Cobiñas, con la miscroscópica de los géneros, o con los grandes géneros también.
A mí que no me hablen de géneros, ni de autores, casi, hablenme de libros, de discos.
Y un último punto: para mí WP es una bosta, y nunca conocí a alguien que le gustase, con quien pudiera compartir una visión del mundo. Tema personal, pero que me dispara esta pavada:
¿El receptor de ciertas cosas puede ser, acaso, entonces, una guía para comprender por qué algo te conmueve o te duerme, poniendo la lente en la fauna humana que te rodea?
¿O eso es muy restrictivo?
A la vez, quizás existan géneros que sean putrefactos de por sí, pero...habría que buscar un ejemplo.

Salud

21/10/06 14:11  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Coincido en que no hay géneros putrefactos per se. Insisto en este punto: ni siquiera la denostada cumbia. (Y persisto en mi pronóstico: ya vendrá el Piazolla redentor que nos hará apreciar el mérito en 'Pibes Chorros'.)
Sí creo que, a veces (no siempre), es útil hablar de géneros, como es útil cualquier clasificacion: como guía en el bosque de la cultura. Amuchar a un artista o a una obra de quien o de la que uno disfruta, con otros y otras que se ignoran, sirve para descubrir potenciales nuevas superficies de placer.
Creo que la distinción clave está entre 'gustar' y 'conmover'. Utilícese aquí las metáforas que se prefieran, las duplas que más se aprecien. De un lado, pongan a lo que no les mueve el piso (y esta es otra metáfora); del otro, a lo que sí. Debí haber dicho: el jazz, en general, no me conmueve. El rock, por otro lado, sí lo hace.
Pero claro que me gusta el jazz, y claro que me gusta la música culta o clásica o... saben a qué me refiero.
Pero no Weather Report.

21/10/06 16:50  
Blogger Playmobil Hipotético dijo...

el weather channel sí que era aburrido; no así los comentarios sobre los cuales me reservo el comentario

21/10/06 19:21  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

A través de la ventana del subte, ayer vi un cartel que decía "Festival de jazz". No llegué a leer más que eso.
Un poco me dieron ganas de ir.

(Y sí, 'Kind of blue' es genial. De Mingus no escuché nada.
Y no, los improperios ajenos y anónimos no me importan (pero igual gracias por borrarlo)).

22/10/06 16:28  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Yo lo apoyo, Matías -más que nada porque indignar es un gran placer. "El jazz no me gusta", muchas veces lo he dicho a conciencia de molestar a un interlocutor -sobre todo cuando es un no-músico, porque se siente indefenso, y si acabo de tocar mejor aun. Salvo honrosas excepciones -Davis, Evans y Coltrane, por ejemplo-, si lo consideramos de manera estadística, compositivamente deja mucho que desear y no es sino un despliegue de virtuosismo, en el mejor de los casos. La mayor parte de las veces, es un género onanista: tocarlo es un placer, pero escucharlo es un embole.

22/10/06 20:14  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

En una película quizás menor, de Alan Parker, llamada 'The Commintments', el veterano trompetista desaconseja al saxofonista de la banda dedicarse al jazz por exactamente ese motivo. Dice: 'el jazz es masturbación musical'. Y si, como dice Woody Allen, no hay nada mejor que el sexo con amor, aunque el sexo sin amor sea lo segundo mejor, afirmo que la paja queda muy por detrás.

PD: esta cita es un poco traida de los pelos. Pero, como sostiene lord Herny, el personaje de Oscar Wilde, si hay algo que no puedo resistir son las tentaciones.

23/10/06 01:09  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Llego tarde al debate, Pailos?
Que decir luego de escribir en un post en lo de cutipaste sobre mi disco favorito: "Alone" de Bill Evans"?
El jazz en general requiere un esfuercito, como cierta literatura, a ver quien me lo niega, cuantas veces han comenzado un libro y lo guardaron un tiempo hasta poder encararlo y que luego de un tiempo, o años, se transformara en uno de los libros que les cambia la vida?
Adhiero..particularmente W.R. es un embole.
El secreto (para mí) es tener alguien que te guíe para la escucha.
Y si no se quieren embolar denserio les recomiendo The Bad Plus que estan este finde en Bs.As.
Yo voy a estar ahí.

saludos.

23/10/06 01:15  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Nunca es tarde para nuestra lectora de cabecera.
No escuché nunca The Bad Plus, pero me lo vendieron también (y no hablo solo de usted) que tengo muchas ganas de ir. Lamentablemente los morlacos no sobran, y con Zato estamos considerando seriamente la posibilidad de ir a ver a (lo lamento) los Beastie Boys. (Yo, además, me voy a arrimar a lo que hagan los Yeah Yeah Yeahs y la veteranísima Patti Smith.)
Así que 'Alone' de Bill Evans... tengo algo así como un cuento que es la descripción de la tapa de un disco de Bill Evans. Me cae muy bien Evans.
Lo del esfuercito... no sé. Déjemelo pensar, porque no estoy seguro.

23/10/06 02:06  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Y porque "lo lamento"?
Me encantan lo Beastie Boys... no voy porque no tengo ganas de estadios, estoy en otra frecuencia en estos tiempos, pero todo bien, no es blanco o negro.
Y cuando voy a leer ese cuento sobre B.E?

saludos.

23/10/06 08:30  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Cuando nos quedemos sin material. (En el momento menos pensado, o sea.)

PD: en mi comentario anterior, donde se leía 'también', debió haberse leido 'tan bien'.

23/10/06 11:35  
Blogger Fideos con manteca dijo...

me tiene las pelotas por el piso. en especial cuando conocés a gente que toca jazz y los idolatran. me gustaban, pero ahora no quiero saber nada.

24/10/06 01:17  
Blogger Fideos con manteca dijo...

digo, W. Report.

24/10/06 01:21  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

No puedo estar más de acuerdo.

24/10/06 15:07  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

(A "S":) Tu idea del onanismo es medio rara, ¿por qué razón verlo (o escucharlo) es un embole?

27/10/06 00:22  
Anonymous Anónimo dijo...

Usted busca conversaciones de alcoba. Ésto no es una alcoba, ML.

27/10/06 14:02  
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What are the advantages of Instant Keto?
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The way to take Super Keto Burn ?
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BizNutrition Testimonials:
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Keto Diet So, after lots research and evaluation, i discovered that BHB ketones can assist me in my keto weight loss plan, so via this research, I were given Keto Diet eating regimen, added it to my keto food plan, and accompanied it regularly.
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REFUND coverage OF Insta Keto
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Instant keto Execs
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Any healthy natural supplements to grow taller, without proper doctor acknowledgement and authority approbation sounds really fishy to me.Athletes and other physically active people need about the same amount of nutrients as others do to grow taller just more energy, or calories, for the increased demands of exercise. Biovirexagen

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Elements
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Keto BodyTone End
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Ultra Slim Keto End
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13/2/20 08:20  
Blogger Blog dijo...

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16/2/20 08:19  
Blogger Blog dijo...

Is There Any side impact?
Nature Crave Keto No, there are not any aspect results linked with Nature Crave Keto as it's miles subsidized with the aid of herbs and clinically authorized substances. But, it is vital that you consume the components as prescribed with out surpassing the doses to avoid the headaches associated with overdoses.
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17/2/20 08:38  
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11/3/20 08:42  
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12/6/20 19:13  
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13/6/20 13:10  
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